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Massive grow op discovered in Vertigo

By Hempology | April 10, 2002

Who needs a dance floor?

Student society admits it was looking for a quick financial fix


April 4th, 2002

By Corbin Zedog

A massive marijuana grow operation in Vertigo
was discovered in the SUB last week by the
investigative reporting team.

The Society of UVic Students (SUS) admitted responsibility for the plants and said
the grow operation was part of a massive efford ot replenish depleted society
coffers and make effective use of the Vertigo space.

The reported discovered the operation when he stumbled into the nightclub
thinking it was finance dictator Bonas Clifford’s office.

The society was rounded up en masse by police last week for questioning.

Student union chair Hymie Splatten said the operation, which included
250 plants, could make back the
$300,000 that are still at large
, within a year.

“This is a fantastic way to amke the student money that we missed,
lost, well, uh… that money from last year that we no longer have,”
she said. “The juice bar
brings in pennies, this thing brings in dollars. Dollars by the thousand. Dollars!
More money for protests! Placards! Yes!”

Adam Depleters, typically the only sober voice of reason on the board,
admitted he thought it was a good idea.

“SUB businesses were doing okay this year, but we wanted a quick fix,”
he said. “And there were plenty of res kids next door creating a large
demand for our supply.”

The president of the campus 420 club
gave the society kudos for what he called a “bold move.”

“The ceiling in Vertigo is so high, it would have been hard to grow marijuana
in there,” said Herb Green. “I think the society should be congradulated.”

The Federation of Associated Canadian Intellectual Students for Today (FACIST) is
reportedly considering their own grow operation.

“We could supply the federal government with medicinal pot,” said FACIST BC Chair
Winter McFadyen. “That would be the best money spinner for FASCIST since Travel

Clifford, the society’s financial whiz, said he was skeptical at first but has
no regrets.

“It’s easy money. And the fringe benefits… well, shit, look at this mother!”
Clifford said, having a huge ‘fattie.’

If the project is successful, the idea may spread to other parts of the campus.
Faced with a job shortage in the wake of provincial governments cutbacks, the
Arts & Writing Co-op is considering
a similar move – the Arts & Writing Grow-Op.

“No pun intended, but there’s a lot of growth in this field,” said Co-op King
Bon Daily. “Who wants to answer phones at BC Hydro
in Williams
for nine dollars an hour, when they could be making fat cash in a basement in
Maple Ridge and getting a knapsack full of bud at the
end of the work term!”

Saanich police are letting the operation go for now.

“Ahh… it’s Victoria,” the Saanich Police chief
said. “You can’t spit without hitting a grow operation. Kids these days. You know.”

Clifford and the board closed Verigo last fall when they realized that it lost
thousands and thousand and thousands and thousands of dollars of student money.

There have been many interesting proposals to use the space but this was the
most lucrative, Clifford said.

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