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Flash’s Island Tour
By Hempology | January 8, 2002
By FlashGordon
Submitted 2001.10.25
Flash and Stonerette huddled against the wind on the upper most deck of the ferry
to Swartz Bay, mustering the courage to light up their last two doobies having
removed themselves from the bulk of the other passengers. Now only in the company
of a few other romantic couples who had come for the view and the chance to glimpse
a whale or two. The couples seemed more interested in themselves. Each puff gave
them more courage and quelled all traces of motion sickness as they held each other
and the sun broke the clouds as they came closer to Vancouver Island, where things
are run at a different pace – with no clocks except for grow timers.
Stonerette began to get paranoia and worry by the time they smoked the second joint
in its bright cherry paper. A group of European tourists with thick guttural accents
began to crowd their space.
“Don’t worry this is B.C..Tourists would be disappointed not to see pot smoking here
“, Flash reassured her.
Flash began coughing and holding his breath at same time to quell the racket he was
making. One of the senior citizen ladies rather than looking at him with disgust gave
Flash the nicest smile and he knew they would be safe. No one reached for their cell
phone that day, as the ducks escorted them into the Bay.
Seaofgreen was there in his jalopy to pick them up and whisk them to his island home.
They stopped at a tourist info bureau on the way for water for the overheated
radiator and a taste of the Island herb they had been craving. Immediately Flash was
hit by the sweet, sweet taste of the Swazi – which is at the base of most of the
original BC strains. This was the KD kind bud, derived from the famous BC Killer Bud
from the 70′s that had made BC famous but which had been renamed for medical
users. This had always been SeaofGreen’s primary concern; to have enough trim to
create the healing oil that quells the nausea of his sister?s radiation treatments, keeps
his wife?s cancer in remission and, when possible, provides for sick patients who rely
on Ted Smith and his Cannabis Buyers’ Clubs Of Canada and Hempology 101.
Victoria’s Hempology 101 Society is a non-profit society dedicated to educating the
public about the industrial, environmental and agricultural advantages of growing hemp
and using it as a product; about the medicinal and spiritual uses of marijuana and other
plants and substances; prohibition; who or what we are up against; and what we need
to do, individually and collectively, in order to change the prevailing misconceptions
and laws which are suppressing the Tree of Life. http://www.hempology.com/101
Flash and Stonerette had stretched their resources to attend the christening of a
new strain made up of the purist Pearl, Swazi and KD – his namesake “FlashBud ” . Sea
had taken the upmost care to create a perfectly organic product. He bedazzled Flash
and quenched Stonerette’s thirst for grow knowledge with lengthy explanations of the
original sea of green method, involving higher levels of calcium nitrate and low
phosphorus intakes. His metabolic method produces the healthiest plants imaginable
and the amount of flushing and leeching involved assures the finest medical grade. The
casual experiments he had done had left him with enough anecdotal evidence to sink
a prohibitionist battleship and had made him vehement against chemy bud, suspicious
of soil and disgusted by BC “biker weed ” such as Northern Lights – which had been
bulked up. The original genetics had been imported from as far away as Africa ,
Europe and the Middle East and been raped.
When High Times first investigated the ?sea of green? method, to which Tod
McCormick devoted a single incomplete chapter in “How to Grow Medical Marijuana”
http://growmedicine.com before he was imprisoned http://todmccormick.org
Seaofgreen had been but the young protege of the originator. In 1982, Sea had
popped up from his hiding place pretending to swim among the plants. The “Sea of
Green” they had dubbed it. In 1997, ?seaofgreen? was used in a HighTimes article,
before the DEA presence and American imported ?War on Drugs? worsened. Busts
were made on the network of houses they had visited and made any such future
journalistic ventures verboten. They had discovered a way to produce the sacred
healing useful herb without buckets of dirt that do damage to the property, in a
method involving many miniature “bonsai” plants full of buds, taking little space but
involving a large number of plants if you were to count them by number, not by their
yield. With a mini med system of 46 plants, a patient or care giver could supply
themselves with a constant supply of 7 grams a day, ongoing basis, with about as much
labour involved as making kool-aid. It is however impractical to expect sick patients
to grow for themselves or to take on the security risks involved in this day and age
and of course there will always be those who can do it better. Sea has been treating
it as an art and healing science for a lifetime.
Flash was also here to see the BC Marijuana Party candidate in Victoria, Opus and his
wife Nance, who had promised him a tour of the Vancouver Island Compassion Society
on which Opus serves as a director. The four of them all dressed in Tye Dye.
Stonerette with makeup on her eyes looked as beautiful as Shiva .
Opus, a federal medical exemptee, had his own modest project for Flash and his
personable and capable photographer/ fiancee, Stonerette, to tour through. The two
growers, his hosts on the Island, were able to knock heads and compare notes on the
virtues of organic soil vs organic hydro metabolics. Opus rolled up some of his “Sticky
Bud”, so popular at the Vancouver Island Compassion Society – which had a more
earthy taste to Flash but which retained the distinct island taste of Swazi so well
inbred in most of the better strains, like Pineapple, the mother of modern
Shiskaberry. Sea matched with along with more prize “Flash Bud ” which sent Flash
into one of his deep, waking daydreams where the conversations whirled around him,
the women discussing wedding bands in the Sears Catalogue and two growers
discussing the high physics of potassium and calcium nitrate and Flash with 101 things
he like to do on Opus laptop computer, if he could only check on his email. He got away
only with showing Nance his Flash Fotos page.
On the way home, they wormed their way through a police roadblock and no sweat
broke their brows. Sea hadn?t touched a drop and exuded righteousness and
forthrightness as he lit up a cigarette, so even the female officer who smiled at
Flash in the back seat, knew to wave them on their way after minimal interrogation.
Back at their lodgings, Flash and Stonerette took up the couches under their matching
comforters and pillows and slept with the two family dogs and stray cat after more
tokes and a turn at trimming. They awoke to a freshly shaven SeaofGreen, who had
coffee on the brew, a fresh handful of various Island strains and a serious waken -
bake breakfast of champions before the long drive to take the tour of Hempolgy’s
Ted?s Bookshop in downtown Victoria. Ted Smith, just back from lecturing on the
University circuit in Toronto, consented to having his picture taken among the
bookshelves presenting Flash with his Hempology Text book,
http://www.hempology.com/textbook
Every Wednesday, Ted commands growing numbers of people to his Hempology 101
classes, where he teaches out of his text book and offers a certificate in Hempology
on completion. He speaks for 45 minutes every Wednesday at Camosun College at
4:20 pm, while other members of Hempology speak at Uvic where he is banned. He was
banned after the University officials had directed a narc to secure a roach from one
of the 7 joints he had given away at 4:20pm. The narc had pretended to toke but had
slipped the joint into his pocket for evidence. Ted was later cowardly arrested in the
car park. The following week he was arrested for distributing 420 medicinal cookies,
a number of which the attending officers lost from evidence.
By 7pm on Wednesdays, upwards of two hundred people gather on Beacon Hill in the
summertime and in the city library during the winter time to hear the university
educated Ted Smith speak for another 45 minutes straight and to socialize , drum and
enjoy the herb. Ted is presenting his constitutional defence arguments at 10
am,January 23rd,24th and 25 ,2002.
After this incident, Ted had gone to the city fathers and asked for a business
license to open a “Book and Art “shop . Everyone thought that the bookshop aspect
of the medical buyers club was a front and a joke but donations of top class used
books have poured in and fully half the space is now taken up with books with
esoteric titles and a full section on sociology, adding to the rental revenue and
selling better than the Art. The club serves all kinds and many people depend upon
it. They had reached their four hundred and eighty forth member as Flash came
thru the door and were less stringent than it?s Vancouver City cousin, The BC
Compassion Club, requiring only that it?s members inform their doctors of their
intelligent, informed preference to self-medicate with marijuana and the
suggestion that they tell their mother as well.
In the distribution area, no curtains ensured the privacy of the members in their
choices. However, the friendly atmosphere and the ease that the friendly staff
put them at made up for any lack of “professionalism”. They are doing renovations
for a small smoking room and hope to have a small cloning area. This grassroots
open atmosphere has made for a strong sense of community. Someone had
forgotten a hefty baggie behind. A derelict alcoholic in-recovery dressed in rags
returned the baggie to distribution while they were there.
” I ain’t no thief “, he laughed, “But, people shouldn’t put their faith in people who
look like me “.
The members support each other and watch to see that members don?t resell or
turn on to harder drugs, doing community outreach in a self-help model – ?Looking
out for their club and one another? said Scott in distribution.
Once Ted had established his club in the neighbourhood, Philip Lucus moved in up
the street. Philip was busted for his Club in Oak Bay, when some kids
broke into the Club . Police were called in after the kids had been
caught with the Club?s bud and Philip had tried to get it back . Opus and Nance who
was wearing a button that read ? Hey, Calvin Klein! Give that girl a sandwich!? met
Stonerette, Flash and Sea outside and they went into the clean sterile professional
office. There the clean cut Lucus said that ?he wanted grandmothers who had
perhaps never smoked pot before to feel comfortable, as well as 18 year olds with
Hep C from intravenous drug use?. Philip took them beyond the office reception
area, through the private door to the distribution area – which is shared by a
Doctor of Chinese Medicine in the evenings and included his apparatus. He had only
had one incident of a sample being stolen and was so far able to serve upwards of
200 members. They saw themselves more as a pharmacy and had a policy of no
toking on the premises. The Vancouver Island Compassion Society requires a
lengthy form to be filled out and access to your medical records. Their
constitution states only that the purpose of the Vancouver Island Compassion
Society was: To treat those with legitimate medical needs using herbal and
homeopathic therapies on a members-only basis; To provide a safe, friendly,
professional atmosphere for herbal treatments and homeopathic therapies on
prescription from a licensed medical doctor or a certified naturopath; To raise
funds and accept donations to encourage and participate in research into all
aspects of therapeutic uses of medicinal cannabis and other herbal remedies and
to provide information about and access to safe, natural therapies.
http://members.home.com/thevicsweb; Not to provide a base for
cannabis culture and political activism.
Lucus recognized Flash from BCMP and the Cannabis By-products Seminar he had
spoken at, which Flash had journaled. He made Flash blush, as pleased as tai tea
punch to hear that his Hashmaster had enjoyed his chronicle.
The tour continued on to Victoria’s China Town for hot sticky BBQ pork buns after
a pit stop back at Opus and Nance’s. They then went to the store once owned by
Ian Hunter that used to have a community feel in Market Square called Sacred
Herb. The Sacred Herb now seemed touristy, gentrified and upscale but had a
wide variety of pipes with more selection and cheaper than in Vancouver and old
photos on the wall remembering their friends at Hemp BC. Further up the street
was Alternative Victoria Off the Cuff and Off the Cuff Two, both owned for over
12 years by a mature strong lady with liberal values who posed with Flash outside
the door. She laughed when Flash showed her his picture in Cannabis Culture. She
reminisced about when the performing artist/comedian Watermelon had graced
the store with a visit and offered to autograph their Hightimes magazines, only to
be turned away as an unknown celebrity. The store not only held everything a
stoner could possibly imagine but stickers, posters, toys and nick-knacks that
would appeal to the alternative community, gay community or anyone with a good
sense of humour who likes to have fun. Stonerette had to be restrained from
spending the rest of their travel allowance on nick-knacks and souvenirs but
settled on some three dollar bills and a sticker which read “assume this phone is
tapped” with a cartoon balloon with marijuana leaf in it and a cross running through
it .
They were also shown the perfect back-backers hostel downtown on the Island in
walking distance to everything called Ocean Island Inn http://oceanisland.com The hostel had lovely private and shared rooms, high speed internet with
computer and fax access, pub crawls, hiking tours, day trips, parties, open mic
nights, and way more yummy and affordable food at the music room with
instruments, groups and families always welcome, no curfew ever, 24 hour staffing,
cable and movies every night in the TV room, delightful common areas, free
morning coffee, travel info galore, laundry room, free bike storage, linen and
towels provided – all in a 1893 heritage building renovated in Feb 1999 with limited
parking for $4/day. They also offered discounts at local Victoria businesses,
central location, minutes from: inner harbour, historic Old Town, Chinatown, ocean
beaches, parks, bars, clubs, and restaurants. All this and the friendliest (and
sexiest) staff there is. Flash and Stonerette got the nickel tour and visited with
the iguanas in the lounge before being led to Tokers Hill, overlooking the ocean at
the bottom of Yates street for a toke. Flash and Stonerette walked hand in hand
along the harbour walk, with all its street performers and artisans, to the historic
Parliament buildings where they smoked another one, rolled in a GIJay camouflage
paper, on the lawns of the Legislative Assembly building. They agreed that if the
uniformed policemen on guard asked them, they would say they had don?t done
their best to keep it hidden. They took part in a fund-raiser for the Red Cross to
help the victims of the New York Tragedy. They allowed a German newspaper
photographer doing a piece on BC Culture to photograph them holding a bud of BC’s
number one cash crop. Flash snagged the local Shaw Cable reporter to say a few
words opposing the presence of American DEA in Canada and expressed the BC
Marijuana Party’s sympathy for the victims in New York – which may air locally on
Monday. They finished their tour at Victoria City Hall where locals deal on the
steps and puffed their last one on the fountain benches.
All in all, it had been a beautiful day that had almost made them forget there was a
drug war on and the look on Bush?s face, like the cat that ate the canary, as he
declared a new world war the night before.
Enjoy the Sacred,Healing,Useful Herb regularly. Medicine doesn’t have to “taste bad to work”
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